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Not the most manipulative but
Keep a log of the birthdays, hobbies and names of spouses and children of colleagues, managers, team members and customers.
I learnt this from a guy who did executive search. People remember you, when you remember what is important to them.
When I've lead teams it's one of the first things I find out - note down when someone says "yeah Gary that's my hubby, he's super into gaming"
When you're a manager, your teams families, partners and friends know your name. Reciprocating that - learning who is important to them - is really important.
To me this seems less like manipulation and more like you put in the effort to not only be a good boss, but a real person.
If you care you’re a good person. If you pretend to care in order to network then you’re being mildly manipulative.
Bingo. I think that's the key to it - if you do it with the intent of getting something from someone, people will work that out pretty quickly and resent it. It comes over as being...greasy.
If it's done from the perspective of having genuine interest, care and empathy it makes it easier to work as a group.
Has this ever backfired on you? While your motive is wholesome, I could see the practice itself seeming creepy. Like keeping notes of someone else's life.
Yep. There's people that want to keep distance at work and don't appreciate it. Just have to respect that and leave them to it.
Some people just don't like to have their hobbies shared.
I find it less creepy and more disingenuous. But I can appreciate the intention.