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What makes a "good vegan", and how can I be one? (feddit.online)

submitted 4 days ago by Binzy_Boi@feddit.online to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Hey all,

So I recently decided to go vegan. My personal reasons for ditching animal products were because of environmental factors, animal welfare, and trying to maintain consistency with the values I hold to their logical ends.

I was curious. I've seen a lot of hate towards vegans online, admittedly being someone who partook in that several years ago myself to a small degree. While I'm glad and very lucky people I know closely have been making accommodations for me, I'm also worried about mentioning or bringing it up to people I'm getting to know since I don't want to rub them the wrong way if they possibly have these notions that being vegan and veganism are a bad thing. Namely when it's relevant in conversation like people asking me why I read ingredients lists or can't have something they're offering me, which I've been half-lying attributing to food allergies and intolerances out of worry (I'm lactose intolerant, which helps as a cop-out).

I'm wanting to know what people dislike about vegans, whether they're based on previous experiences they've had, or preconceived notions, and what would make someone a "good vegan" in their eyes. I know I shouldn't be a people-pleaser, but knowing this stuff would definitely help me gain the confidence to be more open about myself and my personal values to others who don't necessarily share said values.

Thanks in advance, I'll try to respond where possible, but it's going to be a busy day for me, though I do read all replies to posts I make.

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[–] Ephera@lemmy.ml 3 points 4 days ago

Don't think you can do any 'better' than your lactose-intolerant cop-out.

This is going to sound Buddhist AF, but the problem is that in most cases, it's not the vegans introducing the conflict, but rather this conflict existing within the people who take offense.
They don't feel steadfast in their morals and often don't feel confident in their identity or self-worth either, so when someone comes along who does something they perceive as morally superior, then this confronts them with their internal conflict, which makes them feel like they're being attacked.

So, the two ways to avoid the conflict, as others already suggested, are:

Never bring up that you're vegan, or
Give them a reason why you can do the morally superior thing more easily than them.

That you're lactose-intolerant is perfect. Especially with many people not understanding what that entails precisely, you can say that you can't eat many foods anyways, so might as well go vegan. Or that it's even sometimes easier to just pick the vegan variant, as you'll know no dairy is in there.
This is still not easy to use as a cop-out. You'll regularly encounter people who might take offense, and you've got basically just two sentences or so, to defuse that situation. This is why many vegans stop caring, if someone wants to be offended. It's too tiresome to be a people-pleaser.