this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2024
69 points (79.0% liked)
196
17237 readers
1868 users here now
Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.
Rule: You must post before you leave.
Other rules
Behavior rules:
- No bigotry (transphobia, racism, etc…)
- No genocide denial
- No support for authoritarian behaviour (incl. Tankies)
- No namecalling
- Accounts from lemmygrad.ml, threads.net, or hexbear.net are held to higher standards
- Other things seen as cleary bad
Posting rules:
- No AI generated content (DALL-E etc…)
- No advertisements
- No gore / violence
- Mutual aid posts require verification from the mods first
NSFW: NSFW content is permitted but it must be tagged and have content warnings. Anything that doesn't adhere to this will be removed. Content warnings should be added like: [penis], [explicit description of sex]. Non-sexualized breasts of any gender are not considered inappropriate and therefore do not need to be blurred/tagged.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact us on our matrix channel or email.
Other 196's:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Idk I think it's okay rule. Use persons preferred pronouns unless you don't know it then use they/them since it's basically gender neutral.
Part of the drama is people getting in trouble for using they/them, look at the screenshot being used against Gormadt in this very thread.
It's a thorny issue to be sure, but I still struggle to see what's wrong with they/them.
Using they/them when someone asks you not to is a shitty thing to do and should not be acceptable on an instance that’s supposed to be a safe space for queer people.
so many people are willfully missing this very simple point, and it says a lot about how they really think about trans people.
Of course, but it's not clear at all that's what's happening in the screenshot.
"you get the pronouns i feel like using for you" is some phobe shit, adding a third option doesn't make it less of a shitty thing to do.
it's shitty to continue they/them'ing someone who asked for different pronouns, no different than referring a person you know is a trans woman as "he", full stop. but please continue spinning yourself in circles to make it okay to knowingly and willingly misgender people, queer folks deserve to see that big red flag you're waving.
also hello i am a trans woman who has experienced they/them being weaponized as a vehicle to refuse to acknowledge my identity, and it landed exactly the same as "he". please put your assumptions back in your ass where they came from, they're worse than useless.
refusing to acknowledge someone's gender identity is phobic and abusive, if you're having trouble with this very basic core concept then you're no ally of mine. the fact that you keep returning to "wHaT iF i DoN't kNOw" after I've already hammered as hard as I can on "yeah but once they tell you tho" says the ENTIRE quiet part for you.
i think i've been pretty clear in my meaning, and you're continuing to willfully miss each and every point to a tee. it's pretty clear you're not engaging in good faith at this point so i'm just gonna hit the block and report buttons and move on with my day.