this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2025
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I was reading some articles and wow, just wow, they hit hard. I've almost never not had toxic bosses, except one who I absolutely adored (but he lost his own job, not being willing to suck up appropriately), and yet lately I haven't realized how bad my current situation has been!:-(

A not comprehensive listing could include:

  • one who yells at people, both to their face and all the more so behind their backs, especially their own bosses
  • highlights your weaknesses but ignores your strengths and also their own mistakes
  • fails to tell you what they expect from you or give you the info you need to do the job yet expects you to magically fulfill their desires regardless
  • is unrealistic, probably also disregarding work+life balance
  • uses micromanagement or a culture of fear/intimidation; all communication with others must go to through them, possibly not even letting you listen in on the sidelines
  • will not accept feedback or criticism
  • takes credit for people's work, especially when they don't even understand what it is
  • says hurtful/rude things, manipulative like the rules keep changing and you have no idea whatever is going on, basically lacks empathy
  • plays favorites for people who suck up rather than actually are good at their tasks

Probably you can add to this list - these are just the ones my current boss does alone, but surely there are more?

How do you survive it? Personally I've been trying to bide my time to heal from emotional scars, so just doing whatever I can to get through each day/week.

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[–] m_f@midwest.social 2 points 1 day ago

I've overall had pretty good bosses, partially because that's something that I prioritize. My last boss at my old job was probably the worst boss I've had, which wasn't really his fault. The company was churning through a lot of people, and I had two good bosses quit. The third guy was a junior worker who switched over to management track, and was just really inexperienced and didn't really get guidance. The first two bosses there knew when upper management was doing something stupid and would push back, but the last guy didn't have the confidence or experience to do that.

I survived it by job hopping, which I would recommend in general. If you've got a career job you're probably leaving money on the table by not switching jobs periodically, and if you don't have a career job you shouldn't care about work anyways because it won't love you back.