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FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States (theonion.com)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by geneva_convenience@lemmy.ml to c/theonion@midwest.social

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“We have intercepted electronic communication indicating that al-Qaeda members are actively plotting to stay out of the way while America as we know it gradually crumbles under the weight of its own self-inflicted debt and disrepair,” FBI Deputy Director Mark F. Giuliano told the assembled press corps. “If this plan succeeds, it will leave behind a nation with a completely dysfunctional economy, collapsing infrastructure, and a catastrophic health crisis afflicting millions across the nation. We want to emphasize that this danger is very real.”

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[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago (1 children)

As U.S. diplomats arrived in Damascus on Friday, Syria's de facto new leader Ahmed al-Sharaa will likely have greeted them with a clear message: Under his rule, there will be no threat to the West. ... He has also attempted to move away from his past as a jihadist leader with links to both the Islamic State terrorist group and Al Qaeda.

[–] Saleh@feddit.org 11 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Was Vietnam a threat to the West? Was Iraq a threat to the West? Was Afghanistan a threat to the West? Are Palestine or Lebanon threats to the West?

As bin Laden said, the US loves to open another war front. It doesnt matter if people in a place ever heard of the US. The US will find reasons to go there and bomb there if the people just want to be left alone and not suck on the dick of the empire.

And like every empire in decline the US and their fascist pitbull Israel are overextending while alienating more and more of their allies through constant aggression.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Bin Laden was working for the Americans before he was working against them.

Guy saw regime change from the inside out, both as a US backed ~~terrorist~~ freedom fighter and a Saudi Prince.

[–] RedditRefugee69@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 2 days ago

Bro you're sounding like a real threat to the West right now.

Out of curiosity, do you have any oil or commies nearby?