The Onion

4811 readers

1263 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social

958

FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States (theonion.com)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by geneva_convenience@lemmy.ml to c/theonion@midwest.social

58 comments fedilink hide all child comments

“We have intercepted electronic communication indicating that al-Qaeda members are actively plotting to stay out of the way while America as we know it gradually crumbles under the weight of its own self-inflicted debt and disrepair,” FBI Deputy Director Mark F. Giuliano told the assembled press corps. “If this plan succeeds, it will leave behind a nation with a completely dysfunctional economy, collapsing infrastructure, and a catastrophic health crisis afflicting millions across the nation. We want to emphasize that this danger is very real.”

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] hansolo@lemm.ee 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Regardless of the reality of what happened, the increased scrutiny and surveillance pushed a lot of people to distrust of institutions, just like you.

That sentiment was actually ramping up quite a bit in the 90s, and the way the factors that led to the mistrust never went away, but we were given a Faustian deal to ignore them or be labeled a traitor made it all worse.

[–] inv3r5ion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I’ve been called a conspiracy theorist since 9/11.

They knew. They at minimum let it happen because it would be good for their buddies in the offense industry.

[–] hansolo@lemm.ee 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm certainly not going to argue with you on this.

However, I will say that, fromy perspective, if you remember the world prior to 9/11, government incompetence was the standard. Sometimes shitbag people can bumble into a golden opportunity and have no hesitation milking it for all they can.

But I can't prove my idealized version any more than you can. Maybe we're both right. Maybe we're both wrong. We'll never know.

[–] inv3r5ion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Government incompetence is still the standard. Their a bunch of bumbling fools until it’s time to give goodies to their donors. But they’re pOwErLeSs to help us little people. Their hands are tied! Boo hoo!

Re bush and 9/11, there’s some really insanely shady ties between the bush family and the saudi royal family as well as bin Laden and the Saudi royal family. The bush’s have been up to shit for over a century being shady as fuck. Same with Cheney. Then there’s blackwater, Erik prince, etc. a whole lot of hands in the “defense” cookie jar.

The saudis are our so called allies just like the Israelis. Neither are to be trusted.

I’m a follow the money type and war - especially forever war against a shifting target! - is really profitable for warmongers.