Microblog Memes

Okay, found some time. First some background, what actually happened at the bottom.

Background on me

At the time (before smartphones and useful Wikipedia) I subscribed to some vague new-age gods-and-auras-and-spirits-and-energy beliefs loosely based on Germanic Neopaganism with some modern Druidry flavors. But I knew I was just going through the motions. I wanted it to be real and I wanted magic to exist, but I was also quite educated and no matter how much "knowledge" of the subject I acquired, I was still a little bit conscious of the fact that I was just a teenager/young adult lying to myself.

Background on the situation

I was charismatic, convincing, a compulsive liar and a horny teenage asshole. I was also the leader of a big guild on an active Ultima Online roleplay server that had quite a couple of attractive female players which I, through some very convenient coincidences, had convinced that there must be something true about my beliefs and my claims of shamanism.

For example: I often had long talks with one of the players, often deep into the night and one time she asked me to pay her an astral visit, if I was able to astral-project, and tell her stuff about her room, so she could verify. I now know that what I did then was basically cold reading her answers and being vague enough that she could interpret everything I said as accurate. She was impressed.

The piece de resistance was a lucky coincidence. To scare her a little and impress her more, I made something up about there being somebody with her in the room, not necessarily in the physical world, but that there was a presence there with her. She denied that for some time, got even angry as she caught on that I might be lying to her (I actually tried to imply it might be a spirit)... until the cat that never, never enters her room appeared behind the curtains and meowed at her.

This completely turned her anger into awe.

She hadn't know the cat was there, the cat never got into her room except that night, I had "known" something about her room that she didn't... she could not explain that. So her explanation was: He really visited me, he really has some magic powers. And she told the story to everyone in the guild, earning me more awe from the other players. I on the other hand knew that I had completely made that shit up and hit the jackpot through sheer luck... but the taste of all their awe felt soooo good. So I, with more lucky coincidences, more cold reading, more confident lying and just being charismatic slowly got into the heads of my guildmates and enjoyed all the attention of the girls. My character basically acquired a harem for naughty roleplay and I would try to do the same.

My chance arrived at the IRL-camping trip meetup.

What happened

It was supposed to be a fun trip, a weekend of camping with friends and guildmates, meeting the people we only ever interacted online with, some booze, some barbeque, a warm summer night under the stars. It started out great, we talked and talked and had lots of fun, drank a lot, smoked (no weed), danced around a fire. Sometime around evening I found myself surrounded by my guild talking about spiritual bunk that I mostly just made up on the spot. Viking pyramids, Ley lines, my ability to sense dark and bright presences, shit like that. My goal was to impress the girls and maybe scare one or two a little, so I could later protect them from evil spirits by inviting them to my tent... again some lucky coincidences lent me a hand.

We saw a meteor that night, and I don't just mean like a tiny falling star, we saw a big-ass chunk of rock break apart in the atmosphere and burn up in a bright orange fireball.

Later we had a stroll around the local lake and I kept insisting that there was some bright energy coming from the lake but that a dark presence was gathering at a little wooded area in front of us. I don't know what actually was in there, most likely some roe deer or maybe wild hogs, but when we got close a wind from behind us blew towards the forest and made it shiver just a little, we made two steps more and then the little forest started shaking violently. I think whatever animal had hidden in there just fled, but the others were instantly convinced that I had known there was something and that we should not go that way and that it would come after them.

This was a breaking point for some. As the night fell, booze and crowd dynamics took over, mass hallucinations set in as the mood turned from a relaxed, happy, cozy evening to frightened paranoia. I can't tell you how scary it is if you make up a neat little ghost story and feel in control of the things people believe, try to (mildly) scare some girls into your tent when suddenly people take it seriously, take it up and absolutely massively run with it, starting to create their own narrative. They suddenly started seeing things in every little thing. A crying fox to them suddenly was the death cry of a women who had drowned in the lake. We actually didn't know if someone had ever drowned in it, but they just as ready made things up and believed them as I had made them up... only I had known it was bunk, I was in control... they were not.

It was scary, I was suddenly left the only sane person around, they clung to me, asked me a thousand things and every answer I gave, no matter how reassuring it was meant was turned into something frightening. It was very Life of Brian ("I'm not the messiah!" - "Only the messiah would deny to be the messiah!" - "Ok, I am the messiah." - "He said it, he IS the messiah!!!")... No matter what I did to get it back under control their beliefs had escaped me and group dynamics meant it spiraled out of control. The evening was lost. Two people just left and I spend the night with 3 guys and 8 girls on the (apart from us) empty campground, the mood was bad, frightened, my idea to get girls into my tent had worked but there was no thinking about anything naughty. All of them shivered, were deathly afraid, paranoid and some were sobbing... And I was the only one who knew that I had caused that, with lies. I had ruined their weekend, frightened them to the core, I had hurt people who believed in me, looked at me with awe and I myself spend the rest of the night and some of the next morning afraid that some might start hurting themselves.

It was the most impressive example of group dynamics I have ever witnessed, it was extremely scary and I am absolutely certain that this is exactly how religions start... somebody lies and suddenly everything gets out of hand as others take up the ball and run with it, only they don't know that it's all just made up.

His name was Derek. But he went by 'the Prophet' when times were good, or 'the Law Giver' when times were bad.

I moved onto his prayer farm with 45 other members of the Salvation Star Boys, who died in a mass suicide. But not me. 'Cause I don't like root beer. And I only drink what I like.

After it was all over, I called Lois to pick me up. She was mad. But she's what Derek calls an Oppressing Doubter.

May the light of Derek's Invincible Diamond shine through you.