this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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Me in the shower in my late 20's watching all the remaining open doors to possibly achieve my dreams close right in front of my eyes (because my dreams need money/food to happen) ๐ญ
What are your dreams?
Record/produce/write music, particularly extreme metal. Already achieved some of it on last year. extremely small scale before I went to school for electrical engineering. But I really want to "go pro" and work with other people, build my own studio from the ground up, and bring some technical rigor to music production. For this, I really need independence more than money, because I don't think I could find a job in engineering if an employer knew I had such a background, but money ---> independence.
Design and build professional audio software and hardware with open source code and open hardware. To that end, I got a degree in electrical engineering and I am taking a digital signal processing class this semester, although I already taught myself all the mathematics and built an audio equalizer last semester based on that knowledge. I've already started learning the JUCE library, but I haven't had the time lately to do stuff.
For the above two, more than straight-up money, I really need space to set up a studio, and free time to do it. I even have enough gear to get back into it once I get space. But to get space, I need money. I also need money to fabricate PCBs for the types of boards I want to build (lots of mixed-signal stuff that a breadboard could mess with).
Smash capitalism and the State. But IMO I don't make for an effective mouthpiece. I feel I will be more useful paying bail bonds, giving comrades a place to crash/lay low, and providing monetary support for Food Not Bombs, Four Thieves Vinegar Collective, Anarchist Black Cross, etc., once I get a job.
Smash fossil fuels and contribute to renewable energy, preferably with an emphasis on distributed power generation. I can't say too much without doxxing myself, but I'm doing some academic research into how renewables interact with the grid.
Learn as much math, physics, philosophy, and history as possible so I can "try stuff" easily. I'm currently a lot farther ahead on the first two.
It sounds to me like you're flourishing?? Like, I get that money is an impediment, but with your skills you are at least able to earn enough scratch to probably achieve a lot of this, especially if you can connect with the right folks.
Just don't get trapped by big paycheques of private sector that are likely to come your way. They can rob you of your 2 to 3 best decades if you aren't careful.
You sound like a real cool dude and if I knew you irl I would be mentally drafting up a plan to trick you into being my friend.
I appreciate the sentiment, but it certainly feels like I'm not. More accurately, I really feel like I'm not flourishing in a sustainable way. Sure, the next three months are going to be a lot of fun doing research and finishing up my graduate degree, but what about six months from now when I'm a washed-up graduate with no job and no school again?
I applied for over 300 jobs last year with zero offers. I'm autistic and I really have a lot of trouble socializing with people, so I really haven't been able to connect with the right folks for the most part.
I mean my DMs are open ๐
Go to college. Take 1 class. Find a community. Find a different one. Or another different one. Find people you like who like you.
I'm finishing my third degree this semester lol.
Okay but first I need to get money to eat, sleep, exist, etc. without being harassed by the cops, because all resources are paywalled.
You went to college and didn't realize they have a ton of free communities?
Jesus. What good are free communities if they are forced to spend their waking hours trying to earn money to exist?
Time is a commodity. Energy is a commodity. Going places and meeting people costs time and energy they don't have to spend.
So what's the alternative?
In an equitable world, where we had either some form of UBI or shared the means of production and had leisure time to enjoy, it wouldn't be a thing. Spend time at home recharging, go outside and meet people. Go online and meet people. Join community events and do things that interest you and relationships will naturally bloom as a result.
Since we live in Hell? I have no idea. You tell me.
I live an hour away from my school. Can't afford gas or public transit. So no, I really couldn't do any extracurriculars.