Ahh, I would have been much more accepting of myself if I realized I was just autistic instead of secretly, mysteriously “bad.” People reacted poorly to me just being me, so I thought they recognized that I was a bad person, even though I didn’t know what made me bad. I also had emotional reactions that didn’t make sense and I thought I was just a huge asshole for getting upset (and trying not to show any sign of it) at things that wouldn’t upset others. I don’t think it’s the same situation as eggs at all, given that, ideally, autistic people would be diagnosed as children and raised with knowledge of how to manage living in a world that’s not made for them.

Especially for AFAB autistic people, we’re often socialized to try to mask, regardless of our own internal state. I don’t think you should diagnose her or bring it up casually in a group, but I would have really appreciated someone telling me they thought it was a possibility.