this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2025
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I used to work with a couple Czech dudes. One day my coworkers and I were badgering the one dude to tell us a Czech joke. He was pretty reluctant because he said he could only really think of one joke but wasn't sure it would translate well. When he finally told us the joke he got us with this masterpiece.
All of us were confused by this, he told us it was much funnier in Czech because balloon and cactus sound similar so it's a pun. So we had him tell us the joke untranslated in Czech and balloon and cactus sound nothing alike.
I'm still not sure if this dude was fucking with us.
It's a silly joke for little kids of preschool age and it only makes sense if you include the right sound effects. It's supposed to go like this: Two balloons are floating along, one says to the other: - Hey look a cactussssssssssss! - Where isssssssssss it?
One that works in English:
A superconductor came to a bar and ordered a beer. The barman said - I'm not giving you a beer! Get the fuck out of my bar! The superconductor left without any resistance.
An argon atom walks into a bar. The barman says: "We don't serve your kind here. get out". The argon atom doesn't react.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks: "How much for a beer?" The barman says: "For you, no charge".
Oh hey the German version of this joke is also one that doesn't translate! "A neutron walks into a bar. The bartender says: Sorry, only invited guests." In German, "geladen" means both "invited" and "charged".
A neutrino walks into a bar. The bartender asks what it wants to drink.
"Oh, nothing, I'm just passing through."
Two drunks walk into a bar. The third one ducked.
Okay that's actually really funny
OKay that made me chuckle a little
What's the Czech word that's being use for the "issss?" Since "cactus" ends with an "s" sound in both English and Czech, the joke might translate directly.
The second question is Kde ho vidíššššš? Which ends on a sh sound and the last word of the sentence means see, as in Where do you see it?
I'm Czech. The Czech version of the joke is indeed no funnier than the English translation (unless you count the bit of variety in the degassing sounds) and it's a preschool classic. Here is the most common version (they’re all basically the same anyway) and a literal translation:
I think your colleagues had a very dark or offensive joke, as these are common in Czechia. Not wanting to get into trouble, they quickly replied with the first one that came into their mind and then made up excuses for laughing so hard.
the fact that you don't know if he's fucking around makes it even funnier lmao