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I have someone I used to be friends with. I'd text her while watching wrestling, and she'd reply.
Then her replies got shorter and shorter. I'd write a paragraph, and she'd write "Yeah lol". Eventually she just stopped replying. Eventually I just stopped texting.
This past Christmas I got a text from her that was clearly mass texted. It was just a "Merry Christmas" thing.
I looked at it, and realized we hadn't talked at all in almost 2 years. Why is she texting me this? Do I reply? Is she trying to reopen communication? Then I realized she probably clicked "select all" in her contacts list, and I just happened to still be in there. I didn't reply.
When you don't commicate, you send the message that you don't want to communicate. I have a rule about friends. If I'm ALWAYS the one starting the conversation, then you clearly don't care about me. And I stop caring about you over time.
It's not that your friends are drifting apart from you. It's that you're pushing them away from you. If I asked a friend if they wanted to come out on whatever event to hang out, and they just bluntly and coldly said "No.", I would take that as an insult. Like, oh, ok. You don't enjoy my company. Fine then. I'll go without you.
And at some point, you push everybody away. Then you wake up one day at 30 years old, and realize you need new friends. Except 30 year olds aren't out there trying to make friends. And it gets harder and harder progressively as the years go by to make new friends.
So yeah. I totally see you as being at fault here.
Instead of saying "No." just say "No, I need some recharge time." At least then it's about you taking care of your own mental health, and not just "Do I want to hang out with YOU? No!"
See, that moves it away from them being the problem, and lets them understand you just need some alone time. Always remember, every relationship always has at least two sides. You are not the main character in a story.
Spot on.
Only thing I'd change is when turning down an invite, act like you wanted to but can't (even if the reason is you're tired).
"Oh, man, I'd love to go, but I'm wiped. Need to get some sack time". This may seem disingenuous, but it really isn't - you're not going because you need that recharge time, just phrasing it in a way others can understand, and making it clear you'd like to do such things in the future.
Thank you so much. A friend just blocked me because she wanted to leave me alone