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Elon Musk’s daughter says father’s rally gesture was ‘definitely a Nazi salute’
(www.theguardian.com)
this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2025
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did they edit their comment? or is it wrong to call someone who prefers she/her by they/them? i feel like they/them is the neutral version so if you prefer either he/him or she/her then they/them also applies, no? sorry if i'm being ignorant here.
edit: i guess people do distinguish they/them as a way to identify non-binary people, and so using they/them on a person who specifically requests she/her can be offensive if you have been informed that they have a preference. but i don't see how using they/them to describe a person you don't know anything about other than that they are transgender is offensive when there are so many possibilities for preferences. as a cis man i don't feel offended being refered to as they/them and i think it would only be respectful to assume that someone who transitions ftm would also be comfortable with that, unless otherwise stated. i'm not a woman so i obviously can't say for certain but i'd imagine i would also be okay with she/them, and therefore a mtf transgender would also be okay by default. 'by default' in this case meaning the circumstance in which you haven't been explicitly informed of their preferences. i guess that's just my respect compass- which very well might be wrong from some people's point of view but i think it's obvious that it doesn't come from a negative place, which is why i don't think the original comment in necessarily trying to disrespect her.
The article, the title, and the summary, all use her preferred pronouns.
I think "they" is perfectly fine if the preferred pronouns are actually undisclosed (or are the persons preferred pronouns, obviously).
But using "they" like three times, in response to a post where the proper pronouns were used? And with an oppositional tone? It lays it all pretty clear that the grandparent was intentionally saying "they" as a sophomoric attempt to express their disrespect.
My parent, who is downvoted, is quite clearly calling grandparent out on it.
I don't see that being an issue, unless as you pointed out the tone of the rest of the paragraph. I've have tried to made a habit of using they and them most of the time when I write stuff even for cishet folks.
E: you know what, re reading some of my comments I don't do that nearly as often as I thought i did. I apologize.
taking the article into more consideration i think you are right, this comment was pushed to the bottom so i guess by the time i got there it had slipped my mind what exactly the article said haha. though i do think it comes from a place of ignorance rather than malice. i personally might have made the same mistake which is why i attempted to give them the benefit of the doubt. prior to conversing with you i wasn't very well informed on the etiquette. i would have assumed "they/them" was just the safest route to avoid offending anyone regardless of whether or not i knew.