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this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2025
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politics
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The Poutine accord: Hereby written and to be enshrined into law and agreement: upon the rescission of tariffs previously imposed by individual-1 and a public apology, Canada hereby announces it's intention to restore fair market to all previously limited American products and make available upon the fulfillment of the following condition: Ingesting no blood control medication or compounds designed to aid in the ease of digestion or control levels of cholesterol, individual-1 agrees to, upon witness by present representative of Canadian government and the livestream thereof, consume no fewer than 8(eight) servings of Poutine a day, each serving weighing no less then 330 grams (or 2 pounds, if you insist on using imperial measurements.) This condition will apply until the length of time elapses equivalent to the length of time between when the excessive tariffs were enacted until the time of their removal.
In the unlikely circumstance that a serving is not streamed for viewing a recording of the event will be accepted as long as the Canadian representative is visible in the frame and there is irrefutable proof of the current date provided. Should these criteria be unable to be met also acceptable is doubling either the (a) serving size of the remaining servings constituting the remainder of the agreement of the (b) amount of servings per day.
The undersigned parties agree to stated terms fully and without reservation.
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