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submitted 2 years ago by cm0002@lemmy.world to c/funny@sh.itjust.works
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[-] N0body@lemmy.dbzer0.com 238 points 2 years ago

And the wealthy manage to come out on top every single time.

[-] BestBouclettes@jlai.lu 119 points 2 years ago

When you're the ones manufacturing the crisis, it's easier to prepare and profit from it

[-] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 16 points 2 years ago

When they should really come out 6 feet under.

[-] ReanuKeeves@lemm.ee 11 points 2 years ago

Buy blue chip stocks during recessions and sell after recovery

[-] Nindelofocho@lemmy.world 54 points 2 years ago

Kinda hard to buy when you dont have any fuckin money

[-] ReanuKeeves@lemm.ee 44 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

If you didn't buy so many pumpkin spice lattes and avocado toasts you would have been rich by now

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 2 years ago

Instructions unclear, invested life savings in pumpkin spice latte and avocado toast stocks

[-] ReanuKeeves@lemm.ee 10 points 2 years ago

You god dang gen z's are going to get my CFA designation revoked

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 years ago

I'm actually an elder millennial, but I guess I can hold off on any further investment until you get your Classified Fowl Arbitration cert reinstated 🤷

[-] ReanuKeeves@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago

I see you're also an expert in bird law

[-] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

I renounced my Chick-fil-A designation after I got disciplined for playing the south park episode

[-] thefartographer@lemm.ee 9 points 2 years ago

Got it. I'm gonna have a nice hot avocado late and some cinnamon sticks on pumpkin toast

[-] ReanuKeeves@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago

I'm starting to notice a problem...

[-] Maggoty@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago
[-] ReanuKeeves@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago

I've never joked in my life

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 25 points 2 years ago

Instructions unclear, invested life savings in a company that produces blue corn tortilla chips.

[-] ReanuKeeves@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago

Well tostitos is owned by pepsico which is a matured company of 126 years so I would consider that a blue chip blue corn chip stock

[-] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

I invested early but ate them after a month because I was afraid they'd get stale.

[-] Maggoty@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

I accidentally ended up with a semi trailer full of blue corn tortilla chips?

[-] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 8 points 2 years ago

Brother I'm still recovering from the last time I took the internet's advice on stocks.

Unrelated, but fuck Ryan Cohen.

[-] ReanuKeeves@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago

I think this thread has been very clear about what stocks to buy and it's your fault if you don't get it (when you figure it out, let me know too)

this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2025
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