this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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[–] sureok@lemmy.sdf.org 66 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I transitioned to male 15 years ago, I was already well into adulthood by that time so had experience to compare. 100% agree with the post. It was night and day. (I'm not in Stem; just generally in life.)

The weirdest thing was some of the individual people who changed how they treat me over time, for the better. After I started transitioning. Its cool they are so trans positive and affirming I guess. But if you can turn that shit on like a tap why not do for everyone?

Now as a man I struggle to notice when I'm getting special treatment. Even with my prior experience. Sometimes I have been oblivious for years until I finally clocked it or it was pointed out by a woman.

It has made me much more respect cis men who manage to have a keen eye on sexism. Especially those who are masc presenting. It is so easy to not notice. It's very comfortable. People are polite. You have good luck. To all the guys commenting here that it doesn't go on around them: it sure as fuck does.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think people get defense around the idea of “male privilege” because they think it’s getting them something extra. It’s more all of the shit you don’t have to deal with.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Exactly. As a teenager I hated the concept. Partly because I'd been bullied for failing to perform masculinity as a child, partly because I was not happy with the whole boy thing, but also because all the shit so many cis men say.

But when I transitioned I saw it. And I saw trans men starting to receive the privilege I was losing.

[–] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 year ago

But if you can turn that shit on like a tap why not do for everyone?

I would think because they aren't aware of it.

[–] UpperBroccoli@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think this is a huge problem even with people that would say about themselves that they respect women, or even that they are feminist. A lot of men on the left suffer from a total absence of introspection. They may not want to treat women differently, but then they just repeat patterns they have learned without any reflection, and end up doing just that - talk over women, mansplaining to them and so on. It's the same with any privileged group of people.

Men/white people/other privileged groups: if you do not reflect your actions and question your own thought patterns and influences, you will likely discriminate against others. Because the wold that influences us is total dogshite. Strife to be better.

[–] milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Right. There's so much we do automatically, behaviours we've picked up from our culture, or are condoned by our culture, that we don't realise are discriminating.

[–] milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

Now as a man I struggle to notice when I'm getting special treatment. Even with my prior experience.

Thank you for sharing this. I'm usually in communities where - as far as I know - people treat women equally. (Or in different culture communities, so that's a whole different area.) So I tend not to notice if there's special treatment for men. This will remind me to be more aware.

[–] Guns0rWeD13@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

preach. it is for reasons such as what you stated that i fully give my blessing to women transitioning to men. level the playing field by any means necessary. this is survival.

i try to embrace my male archetype because i think the worlds needs strong men, but i have come to understand the feminist perspective and i don't think there's any conflict with masculine men being empathetic. as a matter of fact, i think a truly confident man doesn't need to worry about being vulnerable and is in touch with their feelings. the macho american culture is not who we are. it is an aberration directly resulting from abrahamic religious values being hijacked by sociopaths to pave the way for authoritarianism and further subjugation of women.

and i think it's up to all of us to break these insecure macho idiots down into kneeling before a new age of humanity. make them heel to understand that they were weaklings all along.

[–] sureok@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just to be clear: women do not transition to men to level the playing field or materially benefit themselves.

Studies of post transition income show that trans women go down (sometimes drastically) whereas trans men tend to stay about where they would have been. You get benefits of being treated as male but then you have discrimination and other problems as a queer/trans person to balance it out. So while I can report on the moments when socially and structurally I am treated as a man, it isn't the total experience if my life. I still am trans. There are significant problems associated. I wouldn't reccomend it as a career enhancer. To say nothing of how unpleasant transitioning just in hopes of getting a raise would feel.

I agree with regards to masculinity.

[–] Guns0rWeD13@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

yes. you're right. i understand that it's more than that and that it's not really viable as an economic strategy, but i like to show support where i honestly can.