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As a very tech savvy parent I have to say that setting up an inhibited, monitored and controlled internet for specific devices and users is insanely difficult. The average person stands no chance. But sure, blame the parents instead of the technology as it is sold and delivered.
How difficult it is has a lot of variance. Unifi make it easy to get up and going for example.
Unifi Network, make network, content filtering: family, save. Make WiFi, assign to network, save. Then you can just never give you kids access to the default network. Or you can blacklist their devices. If you want to get more advanced firewall rules are fairly easy to add as well.
Then give them dumb phones
Your notion of the modern world is terribly quaint
How so
How many internet connected devices do you think there are in a typical 2 adult 2 kid household, excluding phones? Here are TVs, tablets, Chromebooks, laptops, game consoles etc etc. Kids don't jus have phones - mine don't and there's still a raw internet connection to almost all these devices.
And out of all of that only one has good controls for parents and believe me when I say this, setting it up was torture.
If you want to block YouTube to specific devices and not others its a really difficult thing to do. Especially when Big Tech is working against you - block the YouTube URLs on a Pihole and you'll find that the play store also doesn't work. There are plenty of dark patterns in all these things. Because these companies do not want to help by blocking access to the marketing bucks of kids.
There is no simple solution to all of it unless you either live in the past or you parent so 1984ly that it'll exhaust you and alienate your kids from you.
So don't give them access to every device you can put your hands on. I had one computer growing up and I didn't die. You not being able to figure this out doesn't obligate the rest of the world to be Sesame Street. You brought them into the world, and you are putting these devices in front of them. It is your responsibility, not everyone else's.
My elders never hesitated to say no to me when the answer was no. They were not worried about "alienating" me in that way. They weren't there to be my buddy, they were there to raise me. You can't be both of those things 100% of the time. You often have to pick one at the expense of the other.