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Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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I have heard people have successfully utilised Mailcow without any issues for many years.
Personally gave it a try once but setting up ports, firewalls, virus scans, anti spams, dns felt too much effort for what I was going to use it for
Using Mailcow for years now, love it, but I don't think it checks the custom scripts box of OP. Since it's all containers, you'd have to do some custom bind mounts to hook the underlying containers and keep the scripts, which might have some unintentional consequences depending on the upgrade.
I second Mailcow. I use it on a residential IP and have a smarthost for relaying in/out since my isp blocks port 25.
For relay, I use mxroute.com, I have a lifetime account and Mailcow has a fetchmail option.