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What is a mildly funny way to answer the phone? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by programmatica@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 37 points 1 year ago (7 children)

City morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em

Or you slice 'em, we ice (or dice, if you want gruesome) 'em

Joe's pool hall, 8 ball speaking

Sam's sanitarium, what nut do you want?

Town grocery, you want the fruit or the vegetable?

Bill's grill, where our meat fits your buns, how can we serve?

Bill's grill, where we shove our greasy meat in your mouth, how can we serve?

I used to have a whole list of these things I picked up over the years, but being able to ignore calls without having to hear them ring has made me forget a lot more

[–] LeftRedditOnJul1@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

City crematorium - you kill 'em, we grill 'em

[–] ZeroNamesLeft@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

I'm trying to figure out how to use this as an ice cream joke

[–] LrdThndr@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Jimmy’s pizza and abortions - your loss is our sauce.

[–] zeusbottom@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

Absolutely savage. I love it

[–] incognito_15@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I've heard the morgue one before, but I heard it as, "You stab 'em, we bag 'em!"

[–] DeltaTangoLima@reddrefuge.com 3 points 1 year ago

My dad's one was always "You kill 'em, we chill 'em"

[–] zeusbottom@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

“Joe’s Bait, Tackle, and Mortuary Service - You Stab ‘Em We Slab ‘Em”

[–] gravistar@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Dickmans meat you can't beat our meat!

[–] lambda@programming.dev 1 points 1 year ago

"Big Paul's Pool Hall, 8-ball speaking, shoot!"

That's the version I've always used.