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I was gonna say that you can't just row across the ocean, but apparently you can.
If you gain the sponsoring for an ocean rowboat, you can then secure sponsorship for the 3-4 months-worth of food since restaurants and gardens are hard to come by in the ocean. I understand that fish live in the ocean, but fishing eats into your 17 hours per day during which you'll need to row. Also, trying to handle fish on the open ocean in a small boat is an incredibly risky maneuver. Even worse, once you catch the fish, you gotta set your boat on fire so that you can cook it and not get parasites.
All told, it's significantly cheaper to just fly, but that's unhelpful advice to someone who just told you that they can't afford to uproot their life and fly to another country. You might ask, how can you not afford that, and the problem is that hiking across countries smaller than my state gives you opportunities to work odd jobs in exchange for shelter, food, and money. But since planes and airports generally don't hire random passengers, it puts you back in that "I'm fucked" boat that you suggested.
Also, all this is giving your unserious comment the credence that you weren't talking about taking a gondola ride across the Atlantic.
Thats a brilliant deep dive. Thank you.