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Sad but true
(lemmy.nz)
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this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2025
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Witches VS Patriarchy
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Its good to know how. In many of those classes they will also teach us to trust our guts on stuff like that and GTFO before we need to fight. And i think thats equally important. Its really, really hard to defend yourself agains someone bigger and heavier than you. A fight not fought is a fight not lost.
And never forget that a weapon can also be used against oneself, especially if not used often or trained.
Stay safe out there ladies!
Trusting your gut and getting out of perceived danger is good in some ways. But, it can also reinforce a feeling of paranoia. It's like the old joke about someone buying a supposedly "magic" item, like leprechaun repellent, and claiming it works because they've never been attacked by a leprechaun.
For example, is someone crossing the street to avoid walking near that man because their gut says he's dangerous? Or is it because he has black skin and they haven't confronted their internalized racism? Are the people hanging out on the corner actually dangerous members of a gang? Or are they just loud, boisterous teenagers? Let this paranoia go too far and you get incidents like the woman who called the cops on a man birdwatching in central park or someone shooting someone who accidentally used the wrong driveway.
This is personal for me, because my mom is always telling me tales of the sketchy people she had to avoid when she was out walking her dog. When she describes why they were sketchy, her reason is basically "they were black". I really think if she could get the courage to meet some black people, she'd discover they aren't automatically scary, and she didn't need to trust her gut and steer clear of them when they were just outside minding their own business while she was out with the dog. She'd also generally be happier to be out at night, and her quality of life would go up because she wouldn't be so afraid of her own neighbourhood.
Good point. Im still wondering though if people like her are really responding to fear or if this is more about reinforceing ideas, agendas and drama.
Feeling somewhat uneasy seeing people in your neighborhood whos demographic you don't like to see around, as unnecessary and harmful this is for the community, is something entirely different than realising you could possibly be harmed in the situation you are in right now.
Im just assuming here that she wont get a fight or flight response every time she sees a black guy or something, though. If she does this is an entirely different problem and may be better adressed by a professional.
I don't know about other people, but I'm pretty sure that with my mom it is genuine fear. She really does need therapy, but it would take decades to work through all her issues and she's old and set in her ways. She'd never even agree to see a therapist because she's confident she doesn't need one.
This is really unfortunate, then. I wish her inner peace and that you may have the strength to have as much patience with her as you can.
Got to fuck em up like Captain Janeway did to Tuvix
Seriously though OP is spot on with the recommendation
(☝︎ ՞ਊ ՞)☝︎ Oh hell yeah!!!! I’m watching Voyager somewhere mid to late season 5. Star Trek was where I was hoping we’re going but it looks like blade runner and cyberpunk is where we are headed/at ಥ_ಥ
I'm on board with Janeway's decision on Tuvix but even I don't compare what she did to him with self-defense, lol.
Oh definitely not self-defense, I was more alluding to fact about the shooting twice thing but I’m just getting use to replying to comments ( I usually lurk) and didn’t know how that would go over in this community and was not trying to get banned or make an enemy from a Janeway meme (:
Half the reason I joined Lemmy was for the star trek memes.
Yesss!!!! Between Star Trek memes and Unix surrealism it definitely helps keep me sane (somewhat haha)
Unfortunately in Australia carrying any sort of weapon for self-defence is illegal, including pepper spray. I still, if I'm going into a higher-risk situation, carry something like a padlock or 3D printed cat-ear ring regardless. Rather be charged with assault than end up assaulted myself, or worse.
I'm also a cane user and that works as a brilliant self-defence weapon because it comes with plausible deniability. People also expect me to be an easy mark, but adrenaline is a hell of a drug!
Same here in Canada.
You can carry a knife, as long as it's a utility knife, or used for cooking, or if it's some kind of sporting equipment.
If you use anything for defense, you're likely going to be getting a weapons charge.
It's idiotic if you ask me. If only criminals can carry weapons, then only criminals will ever have weapons.
IMO, nonlethal self defense equipment should be exempt from weapons laws until such time as it is used to perpetrate a crime, when it then becomes an offensive weapon and prohibited by law. (We have a similar law about knives/blades, they're not considered weapons until they're used in the commission of a crime).
Yes, by definition. So what?
But, look at the US for what happens when everyone might be carrying a weapon. If a victim might have a gun, every criminal will have a gun just to even the odds. Since criminals all carry guns, police also have to carry guns, and police get incredibly paranoid that everyone they're dealing with is armed, so often their policy is shoot if they feel slightly uncomfortable, and ask questions later. Maybe plant a gun on the criminal if they were wrong. And, of course, the US leads every developed country in shooting deaths by a huge margin.
Meanwhile, in the UK most cops don't even carry guns, nor do most criminals, and of course the general public doesn't either. And, unsurprisingly, shooting deaths are pretty rare.
If normal people are allowed to have weapons on them, I think it will occasionally deter a crime. But, I think it would also cause a lot more accidents with those weapons. I also think untrained people would have their weapons taken away and used on them. I also think those weapons would often be used in crimes more often. A road rage incident involving two unarmed people would instead be a road rage incident where someone grabs whatever weapon is at hand. I think for the average person, it's more likely they'll be in a situation where they're irrationally angry and grab whatever weapon is nearby, than be in a situation where they need something to prevent themselves from being the victim of a crime.
I hear what you're saying, and I'm the last person to advocate for everyone to be allowed to carry lethal firearms with them at all times. No thanks.
What I would like to see is that civilians have an option for personal self defense that is non-lethal. Like pepper spray. But that's prohibited here.
The only option for legal self defense here is through training. The only weapon you're allowed to have is yourself. So until you, yourself, becomes a weapon, in every encounter with someone with ill intentions, you will be unarmed.
I don't hate cops. I don't really love them either, especially right now in the wake of the BLM movement, but I won't get into that. But it's impractical at best to have enough LEOs to stop all crimes as they happen. You would need an officer on almost every corner 24/7. It would be a gigantic waste of time and money. Taxpayer money. Giving the general person an option for self defense that's proven to be non-lethal that doesn't require them to take hours of self defense or martial arts classes, would be nice.
Right now, at least for me, here in Canada, such an option does not exist. Anything that can be considered a weapon, is a weapon unless it is part of a very narrow scope of exceptions; and if any of those exceptions are used as a weapon against another person for any reason, then the exception no longer applies.
Not everyone has hours to dedicate to learning self defense. So unless there's a cop nearby, you're fucked.
I had to have my work knives in a locking knife roll when I worked in kitchens. There is definitely such a thing as too far.
I'm not sure where you live, but this would be legal in Canada.
Since the purpose is to use them for cooking, unless they are instead used in perpetrating a crime, they're legal here.
I'm in Australia and while the laws are similar, the way they are enforced means that if you don't want to spend hours on the side of the road or a night in lockup while you prove your story then an abundance of caution is your best option. A very guilty until proven innocent system.
"you're not guilty, we just have to detain you while we investigate"
Yeah, sure, meanwhile I'm put into a cell... Like someone who is guilty. Thanks.
As a guy I'm embarrassed that this is so necessary.
I'm so very very sorry that some men out there feel like it's okay to control someone for any reason, for any purpose, against their will.
I wish you all the best, now, and in the future.
and it is a minority of men who are the problem, but they are enabled
That may be. The problem is that they exist in sufficient numbers to sway the general opinion.
There will always be "evil" people in the world. So eliminating them entirely is extremely unlikely. But reducing their numbers, and their ability to impact others, is going to be the key.
We need everyone to feel safe to go outside.
Once a month my dojo does a free women's self defense class. It's open to everyone and anyone, even if you don't have family/friends who go to the dojo.
They even allow men (though rare) because everyone should have a basic knowledge of self defense but they focus on women since they are less likely to learn it on their own.