cross-posted from: https://discuss.online/post/21704981

I used to think less about animals in the past, was generally 'human supremacist' about it and viewed most non-household pets as nothing more than food

Only recently I started becoming more aware, and I chose vegan options whenever possible, but Eid-Al-Adha came around and we bought two cows, one to keep the other for donations.

I slit the throats of both cows, and at first I got dizzy and was unable to keep praying along, and by the second I tried to focus on the scenery instead and not think about it too much

I don't know, it was a heavy experience, I went to wash my face but coming back to a bloody carcass and a detached head made me have a panic attack and I had to sit down to catch my breath

I don't think I will repeat it next year, but what am I even meant to do?