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Mainly I like tinkering and building my own server and systems.
I'd like to have different VLAN's so that I can keep Home Assistant, sus wifi devices, my services, my personal network, and a guest network separate
I'll probably add more mini-PC's or hardware as time goes by, so it being future proof-ish would be great
If that's all you want to do, one of the cheaper Ubiquiti managed gateways would probably work and not break the bank.
If you want to tinker even harder, an open source router running https://openwrt.org/ (or even their own device) may be a good option.
If separation is all you're after, any managed switch will work. Even a "smart managed" one. But you'll need Wi-Fi access points that can actually have SSIDs assigned to VLans, like the TP-Link, Mikrotik or ubiquity (basically anything aimed at business). At least if some or many of the iot devices are Wi-Fi based.