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Selfhosted
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You could just do it manually. Write the HTML an CSS.
Now there's a radical idea. Might actually do this xD
You don't even need to learn HTML to do it. Any word processor will 'save as HTML,' but the markup should be straightforward enough for anyone considering selfhosting. CSS can be a real rabbit hole, but browser default styles aren't awful.
I don't think there is really any learning curve to "learning HTML" if you are not trying to do anything funky and you just want a simple static website that functions, like OP said, "like a business card". You may as well just type it out yourself. If you've never written HTML before just look at w3schools.
And then host it on https://neocities.org/
+1!!
I found this guide very inspiring: https://melonking.net/thoughts/lets-make
It focuses on the creativity and self-creation aspect of writing your own websites. The site is quirky but also geniune.
This is so cool, thanks for sharing! I'm really excited about the "indie web", being a network of expressive people being people rather than just a giant commerce machine.
This is the only correct answer in this entire thread.