I have to do a bunch of relatively unsurmountable steps to do what should've taken half a minute. Like screenshot the profile and scrape the text with iOS Photos text recognition.

The iOS workaround isn’t quite as unsurmountable as you don’t have to go through the Photos app at all. You can enter text selection mode directly from the screenshot without even saving it or leaving the app you’re in. And since iOS will look up any word you can select in the system dictionary and also translate any text you can select, you can do these things right there too.

That said I did once make a shortcut that lets me triple tap the back of my phone to pop up a text version of everything on screen that the iOS OCR detects. Not sure what I did that for though, I don’t really use it.