this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Is he personally extracting said sperm?

[–] wookiepedia@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Why do you think his throat sounds like that?

[–] Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 4 points 10 months ago

I honestly cannot stand to hear that man speak for more than a sentence.

His voice is a death rattle.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 10 months ago

heroin+WORMS+ untreated voice/box defect.

[–] INHALE_VEGETABLES@aussie.zone 3 points 10 months ago

Pretty sure he's operating on another level, he wonders through airports diagnosing kids and dreaming of their sperm.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 10 months ago

from dead animals?