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Look at restic and/or borg first. Iff you have specific needs that they don't address, then look at other things (including reviewing your requirements: chances are you are doing something wrong in that case).
Yeah, those are for the layer on top of a secure network.
My use case is less about the backup software, more about the network.
Diode - as far as I can make out from their site - provides both storage and networking, but I'm not interested in their storage (as I don't understand where it is) - this is about getting data to my offsite NAS, securely.
What I'm reading is that you want site-to-site connectivity. Wireguard + possibly dynamic DNS makes this pretty easy (assuming you can open ports and configure NAT at your sites). Or you could set up some other VPN solution like OpenVPN.
There's also tailscale (a paid service) for facilitating the wireguard setup, NAT traversal and relaying. headscale is a self hosted solution that aims to provide something similar (but more limited in scope).
Yeah, my default go to is a site-to-site OpenVPN tunnel, but thought I'd look around at what the kool kidz are doing these days. Thanks.