Asklemmy

43968 readers

1022 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

121

Have you ever apologized to someone you wronged for a very long time, or received an unexpected apology in a similar way? (mander.xyz)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Mothra@mander.xyz to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

48 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Such a long title.

Basically I'm wondering if this happens IRL, and how. I've heard countless stories of people who hold a grudge against family members /ex partners/ ex friends/ neighbours etc. for years, and they do horrible things to each other. Or maybe just the cold shoulder can be rough especially for such a long time. But not so many stories of people in these situations who suddenly talk things out unexpectedly, out of their own will and not because they kept getting nagged about whatever happened.

I've also heard about people who screw up big once, never acknowledge or apologize, then everyone puts the episode behind and moves on. But I've never heard about suddenly this person perhaps decades afterwards just actually addressing their screw up and apologizing.

So, have you ever received one of these big, unexpected apologies? Or have you ever apologized for something you did you never thought you would want or dare to apologize for?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] ModernRisk@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I actually want to apologize to someone, for not being honest when we were 17-19 (we’re both now 27-28).

I always lied whenever she asked me to just hang out. Said I could not or had something else.

Truth is, I never dared because of my dad. I didn’t want him to know that, I was hanging out with a girl. A lot happened in my youth and didn’t want to have another violence experience at home.

That and the fact I just feel awkward around people or on 1 on 1 meetings.

But I feel like it’s been way to long for that apology.

[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 1 points 1 year ago

I once had someone explain they were interested in me years ago, and although it wasn't an apology (which would have been nice to get, he was an absolute dick at times), it helped me recalibrate how I thought about myself.

So I I don't know about your particular circumstances, it does sound like it's been too long to apologize for something that can be taken as shyness. But maybe explaining the whys can help this other person, I don't know.