this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2025
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Just imagine it lapping at the juices leaking from the shredded remains of your face. Glad to help!
Worse, cat tongues are barbed and are actually abrasive. They can literally lick your face off given enough time.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a human?
More than you'd enjoy.
It's a cheetah, not a leopard.
Wait, no, I think that's leopards
You're selling cheetahs short here. I'm confident that they're perfectly capable of face-munching.
...Fell free to put it to the test and prove me wrong though.
Accurate.