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Selfhosted
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Perhaps Spacebar is a thing (the client of choice would be Fermi I think). Didn't try it myself yet though, I do not know about how well its security protocol works. I'd assume it uses just a standard TURNS server for audio and video though.
Then of course there's Matrix with Jitsi plugin, which will give you persistent headaches and a new appreciation of touching grass. It's a mess, but hypothetically offers E2EE (if it works).
I was excited at first, because I thought I could still chat with friends who won't leave Discord.
I don't think Spacebar is very far along in development yet