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this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2026
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politics
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Wait, I'm the SpaghettiMan from Council Bluffs, IA. I'm not the one in Saratoga. Does this change anything?
Says here in the book that you’ll have a happy gay relationship that borders on saccharine, and that your friends will be jealous of your adorable and stable homelife.
However, the one in Saratoga will get three felonies because a heavy bookend connected with his husband’s head, flung across the room in yet another protracted dispute, and the medical examiner who saw Saratoga SpaghettiMan’s husband is a mandatory reporter. They were never meant to be.
He was kind of a douche anyway.
They were made for each other in a special hell, and they’ll never have what you and your fiancé have.
I will sleep easy tonight knowing what lies ahead. A dude in my bed.
He’s pretty, a subtle feminine aesthetic. You were doubtful at first.
Oh also, interesting to note in the future: after self-flying cars were legalized by Chairman X. A. E. Musk of the United States Board of Presidential Chairmen in ‘51, mid-air traffic fatalities octupled almost immediately. He wanted one, and you were so close to talking him out. Next time this conversation happens, mention the payment cycle and interest rate more often.
We'll have had a good run
What a coincidence that both SpaghettiMen are in relationships with men.