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Do you need one app for syncing caldav and another app for using the calendar?
Yeah, on Android you use DAV5x or something for syncing, and then another app for calendar (I use Etar). I think DAV5x also acts as an intermediate for smartwatches for calendar notifications, but haven't verified this, it's just a hunch of mine. I think it's probably for ease of development, so the same CalDAV thing doesn't have to be redone over and over again.
As a previous iPhone user, I liked that it was in settings (I did not like, however, that I wasn't able to set up Radicale on my iPhone at all since I didn't have HTTPS with my laptop server. I guess something something security no options for you. If it worked for you that's great! Working things are good)
I also didn't like that on iPhone a majority of the useful settings are buried in dark corners that are difficult to find. Not very helpful at all
Caddy makes HTTPS a breeze. I've tried nginx before but I never understood when and why I would need which setting.
I don't have a registered domain for my laptop server (and hence cannot use HTTPS) as I find that I don't really need it for my use case. Using Tailscale is fine for me if I really need to access it remotely, but I mostly use it for backing up files and images on my local network, and calendars can sync once I get home.
Would a self signed certificate be an option? Not sure if the hassel is worth with the applications on the phone.