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submitted 5 months ago by MicroWave@lemmy.world to c/politics@lemmy.world

She sells magical crucifixes and has warned of consequences from God for those who don’t stand with the president.

The president’s spiritual advisor, Florida-based televangelist scammer Paula White-Cain, said at a book-signing event this week that saying no to Donald Trump is the same thing as saying no to the Christian god.

While speaking during the event, White-Cain recounted how the president asked her to join his Evangelical advisory board before his 2016 inauguration, saying, “He’s got a strong persona, don’t get me wrong. Don’t start a fight with him.”

“Why would the evangelicals come out and vote for him?” she asked before saying that “God told me to” join his advisory board.

“Because one thing I said, ‘I’ll never do politics,'” she said. “But when it came down to it, it wasn’t about doing politics. It was about an assignment. To say no to President Trump would be saying no to God. And I won’t do that.

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[-] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 108 points 5 months ago

Her official business, Paula White Ministries, has told its followers that it can “assign an angel” to those who pay the ministry $1,000. The angel will allegedly “give you long life” and “be an enemy to your enemies,”

Yeah but then it becomes a bidding war. What if someone else already paid for a divine hit against you? God loves everyone but loves cash even more.

Of course these scam goblins love Trump.

[-] atzanteol@sh.itjust.works 32 points 5 months ago

God wants dollars. God wants cents. God wants pounds, schillings and pence.

[-] zwerg@feddit.org 6 points 5 months ago

I'm glad I live I Euro land, though both British and Austrian schillings are long gone...

[-] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 19 points 5 months ago

Christian Curses! Get 'em right here folks!

Wanna live forever, see your enemies destroyed?

I guess it has been a long time since I went to Sunday school.

[-] tomiant@piefed.social 12 points 5 months ago

I need to atone for some genocidal conquests, how much will that set me back, like around $2K ish? You have coupons?

[-] bedwyr@piefed.ca 4 points 5 months ago

You have been excommunicated from evangelical crazy town for woke talk.

[-] tomiant@piefed.social 4 points 5 months ago

Ooh, how much did you pay for the excommunication?

[-] pentastarm@piefed.ca 6 points 5 months ago

Sounds like they are indulging in something... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[-] Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works 15 points 5 months ago

“Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

"But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!” - George Carlin

[-] bedwyr@piefed.ca -2 points 5 months ago

It"s a shame he died so young. I always suspected the christians murdered him.

[-] Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 months ago

George Carlin? He died at 71 after many years of heart disease.

[-] bedwyr@piefed.ca -4 points 5 months ago

I thought he was in his 50s or 60s. Nevertheless, I suspect his life was cut short by fuckery.

[-] Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

He had heart problems going back to the 80s, he did a lot cocaine in his youth and made it to 71. It just is what it is.

[-] Big_Boss_77@fedinsfw.app 6 points 5 months ago

Wow, what a rip off, don't listen to this lady. If you want one, I can set you up with the same deal PLUS VPN protection for $995.

[-] tomiant@piefed.social 3 points 5 months ago

Throw in a discount code for exorcism and you've got a deal, buddy!

[-] Big_Boss_77@fedinsfw.app 5 points 5 months ago

You're in luck, I don't usually do this, but God herself just walked into my office and said for the next thirty minutes, I can include exorcism at no additional charge.

[-] WesternInfidels@feddit.online 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

MAGA angels are just hookers with magic powers

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

Nah that's sumerian priestesses (yes I'm oversimplifying for effect and I'm aware there were many roles that didn't necessarily involve sex)

[-] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 5 points 5 months ago

She's gotta afford all that plastic surgery somehow.

Funny how all the anti-trans "altering the body that God gave you is a sin" people are so quiet about that...

[-] takeda@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 5 months ago

Question is that while obviously they know they are gifting they are targeting wealthy individuals.

Are those people the ones fooled or are they also on this grift?

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

That's basically indulgences for protestants without even claiming to be about after you die.

Also, sub divine spiritual beings willing to accept payment in exchange for enmity towards one's enemies are typically not angels. Magic practitioners who work with angels aren't doing that shit, and the ones who do that tend to go to demons, unaligned spirits, or gods.

this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2026
541 points (98.9% liked)

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