C won’t surprise you...

Lol... I'm sure there's a meme or graph for where you are in learning C to believe this.

then translates to assembly code with a very predictable pattern.

Even this is a stretch. Modern C compilers can do some wild transformations. I assume you've seen the classic one where UB makes it jump to a function that you never actually call.

bash scripting is well-defined

Yeah I mean Bash's problem isn't that it's poorly defined - it's that the definition is awful!