this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2026
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Do you think being able to talk about each others feelings is important for a good friendship? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 4 days ago by applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone
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been thinking a lot about what it means to be friends with someone lately. i have a friend who seems to want to spend time with me sometimes, but never really seems to engage with emotional discussions when i try to have them. not even really our emotions for each other just like, feelings about unrelated stuff. i want to be able to talk about our feelings with my friends, but i can only seem to find that in sexual partners. maybe its just a me thing, maybe other people just dont want that from their friends, or im not really that close to any of them.

idk i guess ive been feeling like i dont want to invest much time in someone who i cant discuss feelings with, but im not sure if im being unreasonable in that position. i will acknowledge that im consistently one of the more emotional people out of everyone ive met.

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[–] LavaPlanet@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 days ago

I would struggle being friends with someone who I couldn't talk about feelings with, looking back I feel like that has been a massive part of my friendships. Both ways. My friends will quite frequently seek me out as the one to vent to, and I'll help them feel validated, acknowledging their feelings and the depth of the situation they're in etc.

Maybe your friend isn't very emotionally mature? Or are they possibly feeling overwhelmed by life and can't hold space right now, for others emotions. I've certainly felt like that after some very emotionally devastating dating experiences.

Personally I would ask about it. I would probably say something like, I notice you're not hugely responsive to emotional conversations (or an example of one) do you mind if I ask you about that? How do you feel about those kinds of conversations?

I suppose ultimately it puts you in a position to make decisions on whether or not you can compartmentalise this friendship, and worst case scenario, meet her where she is. Can you meet her where she is and be in a more superficial friendship?