this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2026
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i kinda want to go to a bar and socialize with strangers, but i have like no idea what im doing. i didnt really before transitioning but now i feel completely lost. if anyone could give me like a basic outline of the social etiquette it would help so much. i realize this is probably the most autistic question i could ask. it gives me so much anxiety even going to a bar, let alone trying to talk to someone.

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[–] Nissa@lemmy.world 6 points 17 hours ago

Do you enjoy reading? In my youth i would often go to bars and just sit at the bar reading a book. You'd be surprised the number of people would strike up a conversation about whatever I was reading. We would typically chat for a bit and when they were done I'd go back to reading. Sometimes people would invite me to join them or when they were leaving invite me to wherever they were going next, whether it was another bar for a show or back to their place to play some magic the gathering. You aren't obligated to join them, but don't hold back if they make you feel comfortable. There is probably a place in your area that is lgbtq+ friendly and would be a great place to start.

Another option is to learn to play pool. There are several bars i know that have a pool table or two and if you comment on the game they will likely invite you to play next. Pool players always want new people to play with.

Hope that helps

♡♡♡Nissa♡♡♡