this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2026
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me_irl
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My favorite is the one when they text me that they hacked my phone and took video of me masturbating while watching porn. I'm like "homie, knowing that you're watching makes it so much hotter".
"Give me $7000 in bitcoin or I will send the video to your loved ones." Uh, joke's on you motherfucker.
That's when you go all technology noob on them and ask them to guide you how to pay them.
A Kitboga classic
That would be kind of funny if it worked. "I'll give you the $7000, but to do it I'll need you to set up an Amazon gift card in my name with $100 in it."