Autism

So what is it when you see society as a series of interlocking systems and institutions whose primary mission is to perpetuate those systems and institutions, often in cruel and inhuman ways, but almost always subtly, barely perceivable by those who are enslaved by the ideology of those systems? (Edit: I'm not entirely totalatarian/bleak about this; there is room for human connection even in a gulag.)

I think it starts with birth, when our parents decide to have children for their own ends. Then we are assigned a role inside that family system--savior, scapegoat, healer, mediator, surrogate parent, etc. We are taught how to see the world, to see relationships, in ways that benefit the family system. It's not abuse, it's love. We are taught to shut down, to not listen to our own voices, because to be independent, to see that the family system is there to serve itself and not you, the child, is emotionally- and maybe life-threatening.

Then it continues in school. In the most pessimistic systems, teachers--whatever there original desires to teach were--are there to fulfill metrics, and those that meet metrics are rewarded, and those that do not are punished. Your role isn´t to learn about who you are, or to develop as a human, but to fulfill the metrics the teachers have. Teachers who take time to learn about you or foster your growth as an individual are eventually weeded out.

Then maybe you go to work, maybe professional work. Your first job is to make your employer feel good about themselves and make them look good to THEIR superiors. If you are in a profession, your other role is to affirm the legitimacy of the profession. You are never to acknowledge that the system is corrupt, that the institution is there primarily to serve itself.

Then in our personal lives, in need of companionship, we make an arrangement with someone else: "I'll be who you want me to be if you be who I want you to be." And when this fails to satisfy us, we decide to have children, and the process continues.

I don't have much hope. Yes, I do think a French-style revolution will somewhat reset the clock on capitalist exploitation, but ultimately, this is just HUMAN behavior. As long as we live in a society, we will create systems and institutions, and we will sacrifice our individuality to gain the protection of those systems and institutions. It is a cycle only escapable only by a few individuals, and at great cost.

So what is this called?

I'll drop my personal experiences in a comment below because I've already shared the highlights before.