this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2026
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So I got feeling for a woman that I share a hobby with and I run into her fairly regularly, she also surprises and impresses me.

She probably knows I have feelings because I said I care about her over text (out of legitimate concern). Now I'm catching myself laughing at the things she says and I actually asked her to calm down because I was laughing at her and another person going at it while im high on an edible in the courthouse.

Like I haven't pursue a relationship. She has a boyfriend and I'm learning healthy relationships (I used to be more antisocial).

I do feel like I come off as a friend,but I feel like women know mens feelings

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[–] solidheron@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

up-vote for answering my question. it's been fun being wrong about her and learning who she is when she objects to my assumptions about her. for all know shes used to getting a lot love from everyone, i might not even be close the person that shows her the most affection.

[–] MrOtingocni@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Good luck. A bit of advice... I've been fortunate to have had a lot of female friends through the years. Some of them I was quite keen on, some not so much but almost all of them were or are in relationships, more or less happily. Sometimes they feel strongly about me, too, and the chemistry between us is undeniable. Even worse, I often know or am friends with the husband.

The best thing you can do in that situation is keep that shit to yourself.

Be a friend, not a fucker.

I've never cheated on my partners but I have been the guy that chicks have cheated on their partners with. It's not worth it and you don't want that bad juu juu in your life.

And I have been cheated on (karma). It hurts, deeply, and you don't want to be a participant in that even if you don't know the dude.

The silver lining is that even if you never get in their panties or have a romantic relationship with them, if you act right you will have a solid lifelong friendship.

Women may not be mind readers but every one of them knows probably 3 dudes that want to fuck them and would try if she let her guard down. Being a good friend by respecting their relationship makes you more valuable than gold and they will appreciate you in the way close friends do, which is rare in this world.

The minute you open your mouth to tell her how you "really feel" about her is the moment the relationship sours. She probably already can tell but is ignoring it, as soon as you say it out loud, now it's a thing and it will be awkward. She will pull away and that will be that.

If it is meant to be it will happen without you having to say anything, but if it's not meant to be then trying to go there with her will only ruin the friendship.

Don't fuck it up.

[–] solidheron@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 days ago

I watched a psychologist video on relationships seems like romantic relationships don't start with saying you have feelings, but flirting. Two people have to flirt for a while and feelings will develop.

Also I can't remember which gender but of them gets more emotional volatility when their partner expresses emotions.

I did talk to her boyfriend today did some light chatting and might have annoyed them by interrupting their screen time, and apologized.

Also roller blades with the girl I have feelings for with other people, so I am blading with her but also other people. Im telling my myself that I rollerbladed with another mans date (I don't know if they are dating), we just went at it for hours getting all hot and sweaty, she's teaching me some new things, and the boyfriend is watching from the sidelines. That girl was just a stranger and we hit it off with roller blading.