Ask Lemmy

I got sad and disappointed when he rejected me, so I cried for a day, then got my shit together and remembering what I'm worth for the next few days after that. I just kept in mind that it's his choice and I was trying to logic my way out of it. Because in reality, he works a lot (he helps pay majority of his share of the rent for his family), takes care of his ill grandmother everyday, and goes to university full time. So even if we did date, he would struggle to find the time to priorize me. His work/life balance isn't the best.

Having a crush on someone makes me idealize them, ignoring their flaws/red flags even when I know they're not this "perfect" person (nobody is perfect ya know?). Though, I wanted to give dating another shot.

What changed was my relationship with myself. I started asking myself "do I even want a relationship right now?" "do I have the emotional capacity to handle my own emotions and another person's emotions too?", "Am I just lonely?" and just being honest. The more I re-evaluate, the more I realized I need a lot of time to be on my own. I began to question why dating is a thing, what's the point, what I wanted out of life, and if marriage is something I want for my own life. Because relationships aren't the only thing in life that matters and it shouldn't be the only thing someone revolves their life around.

I met him when I was still healing from my breakup. He became a safe space for me and I latched onto him quickly. My brain wasn't thinking very clearly that year. 😭. He has the qualities I look for in a boyfriend (caring, respectful, supportive, thoughtful, empathetic), but being a good person doesn't necessarily equate to being a good partner.