this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2026
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I have a very hard time reframing things - it always feels like i am lying to myself, and therefor it doesn't work. Anyone else here having that issue too?
Have you tried reframing things for fun?
It's fun all the way down.
Yeah, we're having fun for fun.
Instructions unclear; now reframing my house.
Lie to yourself for a bit, I suspect it's like muscle, the more you do it the better you get at it. That's kind of what positive affirmations are, you keep telling yourself certain things (within reason..) and it is supposed to steer your subconscious.
I have quite some issues with lying if it doesn't involve little white lies to smoothen over social situations. Anything "bigger" is a no-go for me.
Make talking to yourself a social interaction. It's a little white lie to smoothen out making an appointment. It's just to be considerate to the other you. You wouldn't want to be rude, would you?
Push back on that. Ask yourself if you're really lying.
I kinda get where you're coming from. I had a similar problem. I found it difficult to "Fake it 'til you make it", but I did find it easier to abstract it one layer. It just made sense in my head to fake faking it until I could fake making it because that's just pretending to lie. It still just makes sense to me.
I struggle with this too. My therapist is trying to help me with some aspects of it, usually trying to use a past accomplishment and applying it to what I currently have massive anxiety about. Doesn't always work cause my brain treats that past accomplishment as a mistake or something I shouldn't have gotten.
Because you are not supposed to. Emotions exist one layer of abstraction lower than consciousness, hence frontal lobe can't override them manually. It's evolutionary safety measure
Then why can the first time you go skydiving be pants shittingly terrifying but the 50th time can be pleasurable or even mundane? Your rational mind is deliberately choosing to make the first jump despite the fear and thereby taking control over the emotion.
The reaction that you conscious mind interprets as emotion occurs at a lower level than consciousness, but you absolutely can override that interpretation, so scary can become exciting, fear can become motivation, or you can decide to just override it completely. It's not necessarily easy, but it is possible.
But then what to do?
Could you create similar circunstances without the pressure? Say apply for jobs you dont care about so you are familiar with theprocess and experience of interviews.