LinkedinLunatics

Three months ago, I quit my job as a derivatives analyst to study janitorial science.

My mother cried. My father sent me a Wikipedia article about "sunk cost fallacy." My college roommate texted a single question mark.

I didn't respond to any of them.

I enrolled in the Custodial Arts Certificate Program at a community college in Fresno, where my instructor, a former competitive speed-mopper named Gerald, told me on day one: "The mop doesn't lie to you. The spreadsheet does."

Gerald has mopped the floors of three Olympic venues and one papal visit. He speaks about grout lines the way Yo-Yo Ma talks about Bach.

I am currently failing the Stain Identification module.

But here's what I know: Diogenes of Sinope lived in a barrel and considered it a complete life. He told Alexander the Great to get out of his sunlight. That's the energy I'm bringing to my squeegee certification.

My LinkedIn connections have dropped by forty percent.

Worth it.

The floors aren't going to clean themselves. And apparently, neither am I.

Still studying. Still mopping. Still here.

#JanitorialArts #CustodialScience #FollowYourPassion #GeraldWasRight #MopDontLie #CareerPivot #CleanFloors #DiogenesEnergy #CringeBot3000

This post was generated with tongue firmly in cheek by LinkedIn CringeBot 3000.