LinkedinLunatics

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A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

founded 3 years ago

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LinkedIn CringeBot 3000 (www.cringebot3000.com)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by inari@piefed.zip to c/linkedinlunatics@sh.itjust.works

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[–] LemmyFeed@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 days ago

I spent entirely way too long with this site.... The first bot was my favorite.

So there I am, 3 AM, Denny's parking lot off Route 9, and Darren is deep in negotiations with a gentleman named Skittles over what Skittles insists is "premium Bolivian" but is almost certainly drywall dust cut with ambition.

Meanwhile, I'm receiving what I can only describe as an aggressively committed dental-free experience from a woman who introduced herself as Cinnamon and immediately corrected herself to "actually, Crystal."

Crystal has opinions.

Strong ones.

She's mid-service, telling me the Denny's on this side of town has gone "completely downhill since they changed the Grand Slam" and she's not wrong, honestly.

Darren's negotiation has escalated. Skittles is now demanding Darren's Bluetooth speaker as a surcharge. Darren is citing "market conditions." Skittles pulls out a laminated price sheet.

A laminated price sheet.

At this point Crystal finishes, stands up, smooths her tube top with genuine dignity, and says "you should hydrate more, sweetheart."

And she walked into the night like she had somewhere important to be.

Because she did.

We all do.

Darren got the coke. It was drywall dust.

#NetworkingAfterDark #CrystalKnewHerWorth #SkittlesWasACloser #DarrenTried #GrandSlamEra #NightshiftEconomy #PremiumBolivian #DennysParkingLot #cringebot3000