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this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2026
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Men's Liberation
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I know this is a men's lib community but I just wanted to share a story about a woman friend of mine who is successful (not first-class everywhere successful or anywhere near these people). Let's just say that I work in UK tech (just typical senior salary -- not silicon valley FAANG salaries) and one of her bonus checks is my annual salary.
She met the love of her life in school and he never worked and just wanted to be an actor while she came up from boiler rooms to be an exec. When she hit her 30s or so he left her and took half her shit despite not working a day in his life.
She has trouble dating now and we talk about it often. She wants kids and wants a man that earns around her salary (even below but within her range) and she's finding it tough. I told her that on her dates that she probably shouldn't ask how much the man earns. She says it's to get things out of the way and that she typically earns more than them. I just said that it can be off-putting.
Truth is, there's a ton of insecure men that would not like to date a woman that earns significantly more than than them. And due to her personal trauma, I can understand wanting to clear things out.
With that said, I would not bring it up on a first date. Pretty distasteful, and makes it sound like you just care about money. But not everyone has the same holdups with talking about money.
I don't mind if a woman earns more than me, but when I dated a few women who did ... I did notice not being myself ...? It's like that thing where you're like "don't screw it up" or second guessing myself. I did notice that the women I went out with were more straightforward with what they wanted and told me earlier on and I think those threw me for a loop as well.
I know quite a few of my friends would hate to date a woman that earns more for sure, 'cause they want to be the one that "takes care" of the house.
lol sorry, another funny anecdote about my friend is that she went on a date with a man that thought he should earn and she should stay at home and have kids. Instead of being "repulsed" by it, she decided to go along with it and say, "do you earn enough to take care of me and a kid?" and he was like, "well .... not yet." I just thought that was funny.
She really hadn't been dating as much so she doesn't really get the dance. I mean ... I earn what I think is decent money but if a girl asked about it on the first date. I would be like ... what's her game?
I find that dynamic of one person "taking care of the house" a red flag. Who takes care of the house? The family. Including the kids. The money belongs to the couple. We need to be a team for this to work long term otherwise it just breeds resentment
Was gonna say, this sounds like a lot of mens storys I know. Equality yah??..
She's actually even more empathetic to men because of what she went through.
I think UK divorce laws are very down the middle. I remember Russell Brand was able to take half of her stuff and was entitled to $20 million but he turned it down.