this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2026
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I already told my mom not to leave me any of her prized 70s era ethan allen furniture because I'm just going to donate it.
Noooooobody wants ugly old baroque heavy fucking king arthurs court style tables and chairs. If they do want it, there are lots of people selling it because people like me have a parent who died and left it to their kids and they're all trying to sell the ugly shit.
She insists that it's worth a fortune, but just tell her that it's worth what someone will pay to buy used furniture and come haul it all off--which isn't much. Both of my brothers already have a set that she's dumped on them over the years, I'm the only one who refused it. I have my own taste and it ain't that shit. Of course when I'm old, I have no expectation that anyone will want my shit. I like it, but by the time I'm ready to drop, MCM will probably be out of style and it can just go to the salvation army with all the rest of my worthless shit.
I'm sorry but sometimes you've got to lie to them.
If they have something like gold-plated silverware or jewelry you can be more honest. You've still got to lie and tell them it sold for slightly more than it really sold for (they will bitch and moan anyway, wanting a super inflated price, but still), and give them a cut of what you got for it.
But if it's something stupid like furniture nobody wants, or figurines, for dishware, you've got to lie to their faces and tell them you needed the money for credit card debt. That is the only way they're going to stop tripping over their hoarded stuff and getting rescued by the fire department. "Please grandma give me this massive hoard of plates you have packed in cardboard in boxes all over the floor, I need it to pay off my non existent credit cards" and then throw that shit in the trash.
Or tell them nothing. dont bring it up. especially on their death bed. Just comfort them. no need to stress them or yourself out more.Just say it is all fine. agree to whatever by handshake. After that just do what you intend to do anyways. the only legal binding contract is the will. Even at that; the stuff gets disbursed to the new owners who decide whether or not to keep it. the will is a temporary measure to which these temporary objects simply find their new temporary spot. Then life continues to change among the living who make their own executive decisions with these temporary objects.
Other than that get back to your life asap. This estate stuff will eat you alive as it is while you're grieving.
I wrote a long reply but at the end of the day it's better to get it done now, tldr