Hi. I don't know where to post this, so I decided to post on this community on Lemmy. If I posted on Reddit, I'd probably get shit on or they'd delete my post because it keeps saying "removed by filters".
Anyway, I'm not asking for a 100% diagnosis and I will tell a medical professional.
So, I suddenly started feeling disorganized thoughts and started thinking illogically. This does happen sometimes. If I were to talk to someone, I'd have very impulsive, emotional behaviors and I would definitely say things I normally wouldn't say otherwise. I'm trying to calm down from it and talk about it because I WILL explode if I bottle it up.
I will feel really energetic and happy like I have recently, full of ideas but unsure where to start. It does sorta feel like my ADHD due to not being able to focus and not doing things that are "boring" or too analytical.
Well, then I started having some pretty bad intrusive thoughts. I couldn't shake the feeling, though I knew it didn't logically make sense, that everyone was acting weird and was trying to hurt me. Sometimes, when people change their tone or act weird, I think I'm in a different dimension, one of the things my brain tries to convince me.
There was one time I really felt motivated and thought I could be like Indiana Jones.
One time, about 2 years ago, I was going through a rough period and I think I'd gotten diagnosed with bipolar later in that year. Well, I can't tell if it's anxiety, mania, or psychosis signs, but I genuinely couldn't shake the feeling that my friends acting different was because they'd been replaced by aliens or I was sent to some sort of dimension/universe where my friends didn't exist and had been replaced by evil people, rather than just the logical conclusion that they were upset, which turned out to actually be that they were cruel pieces of shit, but that's beside the point.
If you do seek emergency mental health help, don't use an emergency department as your FIRST choice. Try crisis stabilization or other emergency mental health service first, ED second if you can't find one or they won't take you. If you can find a psych-specific ED that's also a good option but the keyword there is psych specific. Try to avoid a general ED if you can. Some good search terms (for anglophones anyway) are:
You might also pair those search terms with emergency / unit.
A non-psych ED is limited in what services they can offer you. ED staff are not good at much more than rapid stabilization and often have poor psych-specific training. The main psych skill they're trained / equipped for is rapidly medicating, which could be necessary, but might also be an overreaction in your case. It may also take a while to do a bed search for an appropriate psych bed and an ED is a very overstimulating environment for a person who is manic. If you wind up needing that it is what it is, but you'll probably get better care if you try to find a psych specific emergency service in your community if at all possible.
Also try to make and take a Safety Plan with you. It will help them make sure you don't wind up at a more intensive / intrusive level of care than you really need to be at.