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It is PAID
(lemmy.nz)
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this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2026
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Dudes fucking do that?!?
I used to be a bartender (I’m a cis-man), and I would get upset when a customer touched my forearm (multiple genders did this)
What the fuck is wrong with people
hey you should read the rules here
I apologize, I have a bad habit of not reading the rules (or noticing which sub I’m in, I came in from the ‘All’ feed).
I’ve just now read the rules, and it definitely says that only women can post, but it was less clear about if men would be welcome to comment (based on your comment it seems like maybe we’re not? [I have ASD, so I often need things spelled out for me explicitly, I’m not trying to be pedantic])
I’m sorry if I’m intruding, that was not my intention. If this is a safe space I’ll gladly see myself out.
men are not allowed to comment no
It's fine no issue. Rule is no cis men, only women, non binary and trans can post or comment. We're strict about it ❤️
Hey friend! Thanks for taking our point seriously. We are trans inclusive so please don't comment again have a good weekend ❤️
Upon reflecting I recognize now what the bad thing I said was.
To be clear, I’m just an idiot and don’t think carefully enough about what I’m saying or typing until it’s already out of my head.
I wasn’t trying to be discriminatory or exclusionary. I’m sorry everyone. I won’t bother you again.
I didn’t read your comment badly mate... i read it as taking the meme seriously. It was obviously new information that shocked you, you took it seriously and had supportive anger on our behalf. Plus you're politely leaving without argument cos you realised we don't allow cis men. There's no issue at all, it's fine, and hope you have a lovely weekend 🥰
(some) Dudes absolutely do that.
They’ll also slap women’s butts, tell them to smile, ask for their phone number, wait at the bar until the woman’s shift is over, etc.
Or lead us where we are already going with a hand on the small of our back.
Holy shit do NOT touch me like you know me and earned my affections, you absolute shitheel. Im capable of moving where I want when I want without help from a stranger.
Actually I’m now realizing that I’ve seen a few of those happen (I’ve seen the smiling one a lot actually), and have become somewhat desensitized, so they fall into a category of “upsetting but not surprising”.
I think the hand thing threw me for a bit of a loop because that’s some cartoon wolf shit
I'm guessing (hoping) they're drunk?
Sometimes I'm amazed how little inhibition loosening people need. Yeah alcohol loosens me up, but I still won't sing let alone touch someone without consent?
I've never been so drunk as to make a move on a bartender, and I've been destructively drunk
There are a lot of men who interpret any woman being neutral or kind to them as flirting.
Same as there are a lot of men who interpret a woman being neutral or disinterested as rude.
I mean, I guess, but I’ve been extremely embarrassingly drunk many times in the past, and I’ve never attempted to kiss a stranger (or any unwilling party, for that matter), on the hand or otherwise
If someone loses that much of their inhibitions while drinking then they probably shouldn’t drink
They would reach over the bar??
Yes. It would be bad enough if they just briefly touched me to grab my attention, but often they would keep their hand on my forearm while speaking to me.