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[-] FavouriteShapes@sh.itjust.works 228 points 2 days ago

She probably noticed him OGLING HER based on the description he just gave

[-] B1tch_Pudding@lemmy.zip 85 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Saunas are sacred shit. It's like a gay bar, if you want to not be seen as a pest you 100% must stop acting like a moid when you enter. And some people just don't want to be spoken to

[-] IronBird@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

how does one not act like a moid, what are common non-moid behaviors?

[-] luciferofastora@feddit.org 11 points 1 day ago

Well, the common behaviours are the shit you'd associate with the stereotype primitive men: reducing people to objects of sexual attraction, being oblivious to boundaries, exploiting vulnerable situations.

In this case, you just don't stare at the other sauna guests. You look for a spot, preferably away from others, sit down, focus on your own breathing and all that and leave everyone else alone to do the same.

To take advantage of the fact that someone is naked and exposed to ogle them, then strike up a conversation they didn't ask for (because sauna isn't for chatting, it's for sweating) when they already feel vulnerable and exposed, violates the trust in mutual privacy that makes shared saunas possible in the first place.

[-] B1tch_Pudding@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

In the context of the greenext it would have been being able to sit in silence with a stranger in a leisure setting without needing to make the situation about themself. That's an extreme situation though because sauna.

Usually it's just reading people to know how far you should take a simple "how's it going?". The best advice that doesn't apply to most people but someone should probably hear is not everything is an opportunity to shoot your shot, not that this is what happened.

[-] Cethin@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I would bet it would have been fine to talk with someone. It's not ok to hit on them. Obviously you need to read the room for all of it though. Maybe they don't want to chat at all, or maybe they are open to flirting, but if you can't read it well then probably STFU and keep your eyes off others.

[-] Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I have a question, if i don't watch the person how do i read the room to understand if they wanna talk? I kinda have problems with such stuff

(I just wanna say that i never have been in a sauna, i doubt i would talk but i guess that of we are in the same room.with such heat for more than 10 minutes, talking would help enduring)

[-] Kangae_Hishiryo@scribe.disroot.org -1 points 23 hours ago

"Oh, yeah, let's read minds with the mind-reading powers that obviously all real and good humans have and should have" ahh comment.

[-] FavouriteShapes@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 days ago

So I have to act like a woman when I'm in a sauna? Any advice??

[-] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 38 points 2 days ago

Get unwanted attention from men

this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2026
575 points (98.6% liked)

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