How to get rid of extremism (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 weeks ago by Naive@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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Growing up and even now, I have a problem of going into extremes. In my early teens, I was so obsessed with religion that it started to become a problematic part for those around me. Now, I am kinda "anti-theist" (in secret though, I wanna be safe). I used to be very homophobic. When I discovered that I fall in love with a guy, I have became so scared. Now, I am comfortable with my bisexuality though but will be in rage if the word "gay" is used as a joke. I also rush to take a label for me that I am this, this and this, and get myself limited to that specific identity. Although I am now on my way to develop the acceptance of the fact that I can be wrong, I still feel that I have not gotten rid of my extremism. How to be a person who does not rush to take labels?

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[-] aramis87@fedia.io 7 points 3 weeks ago

I also rush to take a label for me that I am this, this and this, and get myself limited to that specific identity.

It sounds like you know what the basic problem is: you find something, and take it as a part of your actual identity, letting it define you.

Instead of focusing on just one thing and labeling yourself with it, do many things - and have them be things that you do.

And sit down and think about what you're finding so attractive about these things, then work against that attraction. Is it because these groups offer a community? Then don't link yourself to just one community. Is it because it gives you a pre-set list of approved behaviors and opinions? Explore beyond the approved. Is it because you're not sure who you are and this makes you easier with yourself (something we all go through)? Go out and do a variety of things - do things by yourself, do them with others, go places and do things that you wouldn't normally.

Don't focus exclusively on one group or type of groups, look for a range of groups and activities. And if there's something interesting that you can't find a group for, go do it anyway, just because it interests you.

Good luck!

this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2026

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