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Anon steams up the sauna
(lemmy.nz)
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this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2026
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I have never been in a mixed sauna. I don't think I could do it.
It is like releasing a hungry bear into seal exhibit. The seal has no where to run and idiots are scream "oh my God why would he do this"
Men* shouldn't act like hungry bears. Society at large shouldn't have to assume there's a significant risk that an an unrestrained man will act like a hungry bear. That includes in mixed saunas.
The fear of being a trapped seal is, currently, fairly well-justified. It would be nice to change that.
*: No persons should, but the problems are mostly cis men, like myself.
You're leaving out some details.
Sneaky sneaky there Mr mountain top
Well, yes, I usually am, but I thought I included sufficient, relevant detail. If not, please educate me or let me know where I can educate myself; I would like to do better in the future.
My inference here is that you are implying I find myself morally, ethically, or spiritually superior. I do not. I've made bad decisions that have hurt people in the past. I don't have any particular insight. And, I have been very lucky, so my experience being marginalized or exploited is limited.
A few hurt feelings are no big deal. "Oh I've hurt people" unless you own up to some egregious offense you are probably over estimating your ability to impact the world.
The details you are leaving out is the groups of people who do the majority of the abuse. It isn't "cis men" it is people with a certain entitlement. Usually with power or cultural backgrounds unfamiliar with feminism. Let alone modern feminism.
Well, I'm not coping to it here, but I'd say it is worse than "hurt feelings".
Definitely this, too. Thinking I'm more impactful than I am is a source of some of my own suffering.
C'mon fam. I thought we were having fun trolling. Don't make this serious. We're all the source of our own suffering. Yada-yada existential crybaby crap.
I hope all your basic needs and family are met.
If that helps your anxieties: having gone to a mixed gym sauna for a long time, I have never ever seen anything remotely inappropriate. People just take the sauna, that is all. If there are any groups coming together, they may chat between themselves, but you'll barely ever hear a stranger even talking to you.
Gym saunas specifically have enough surveillance and multiple controlled chokepoints where perpetrator would be immediately stopped and given straight to the authorities. So, one should be incredibly idiotic to even attempt something like that. In this sense, it is no less safe than any other monitored public facility.
As a personal argument, a lot of predatory behaviors in men stems specifically from something being too limited and restricted. For people coming regularly to the mixed sauna, even those naked ones in some European places, a naked woman is just another naked person. When it becomes mundane, it stops having anything sexual attached to it.
In the US there are not mixed gender saunas. Mostly a European thing and even then not all of them.
European example shows it's perfectly fine, though. And I don't think American culture is so much different it cannot be imported one way or another.
Personally, I find it very convenient since I go to the gym with my partner, and we can hang out together not only while training, but also relaxing after. This also helps coordinate our actions, so we don't sit and wait for each other.
That said, separate gender saunas should exist too for people who prefer them. They're fine, too!
You focus on your conveniences rather than the expressed discomforts of others.
Not at all. I'm not saying separate gender saunas should be abolished, I merely make a case for the alternative.
When me and my partner chose a gym to go to, a mixed sauna was among the positives. Neither of us would like it if it were separate.
Should you choose one, you're free to stick to those with separate options. It's alright. I simply addressed the concern of potential sexual abuse happening in mixed saunas - on my watch, there were exactly zero instances of any inappropriate behavior. If this doesn't help - so be it, separate options never went anywhere. Enjoy what brings you comfort and safety.
That's a fancy gym that has 3-4 different types of sauna accomodations. Hoity-toity