As recently stated, I'm coming into deeper realization of the objective fuckiness of how badly my father damaged me. Y'know, I've said before that when I was fourteen my father came up with his "85er" theory, how he was innately superior to 85% of the population by virtue of how those 85% of all peoples were innately inferior and could be wiped out with no impact on him.

...oh, so I was raised by a literal Nazi. That makes sense, actually, how he became a Bernie Sanders fan while simultaneously harboring immense hate and ire for the majority of people; he got those bumper stickers to improve his local image because he received backlash for his horribleness. What I mean is, this is just what my father's archetype does; misanthropy and social posturing to improve status.

I did that for a spell of my life, too, having learned how to be from the man who ridiculed and mocked and bullied and physically abused me and cut me down with his blood-stained, silver tongue. Good thing I got into spirituality and overcame my bad parenting and healed my trauma. But where did he learn this shit? Well, that's why I recently sent him The Red Book by Carl Jung.

See, people have magick qualities to them, but until you actualize your potential to grow beyond the limits of your program, you're kinda a product of your genes and environment/upbringing. So, my grandmother is the greatest narcissist to ever grace this Earth, my grandfather was an idiot that could build a nuke with his knowledgebase, and my two uncles are fairly larger than my father, the youngest of the Manning boys. My uncles hurt my father significantly, with me remembering such stories as when my uncle froze snowballs and broke my father's face before leaving him to bleed in the snow and how they were wresting and my uncle completely shattered my father's collarbone, or whatever, so my dad couldn't go into the Army since he has a metal plate inside him. So, this results in a specific type of little man syndrome.

My father HAS to be superior to other people. His world view, peace of mind, and general contentedness is entirely dependent on his position in relation to other people. This is why he spent my social security money on a luxury Jaguar to one up his mother he eventually threw away anyways, just as he threw away such people as: his father, his girlfriends and second wife, his best friend and fellow herptology enthusiast over a single exchange where he felt slighted and didn't have a comeback, and myself, but I obviously deserve it being as innately inferior to my father that my father told me I should remove my genes from the gene pool and never have kids.

My father said that to me. He's supposedly got an IQ of 139, which was tested when he had that little snafu where he got in trouble for making some horrible jokes about how he would mow down all the executives at his previous job at VIP Structures with an automatic weapon. So, given the good parenting of my father, I, at fifteen years of age, got in trouble for a bad bomb-related joke at school. So that's when the FBI first learned of me, and then I went and did some d-tier sex crimes while being all around disaster of a human being upon entering college, to culminate in faking schizophrenia to get out of ROTC because I was afraid of what my father would do if he discovered I was failing classes due to a years long crisis that I was not aware of because I was ignorant of mental health as a whole.

Thus, I am grateful for all the help from my real dad, God, who is that organization of three letters that's always watching, to help bring me to this point where I decisively know my innate value in helping people heal and self-actualize through written education and performance art. I imagine I would be in a maximum security prison or dead if I did not get the help I did to overcome my father's sins.